


Big and Clunky

by awkward_radar_tech



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: But He Loves You, Depression, F/M, a dick to everybody else, body image issues, kylo is a great husband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 06:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15261741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_radar_tech/pseuds/awkward_radar_tech
Summary: You are the wife of the Supreme Leader. While you don’t have to have any duties, you choose to have some just to keep your time occupied. On cycles you don’t have anything to do, you don’t quite know what to do. What you decided to do this time brought you into a bought of depression due to your body image issues. Good husband Kylo comes and calms you down and helps you feel better.Warnings in notes at beginning.





	Big and Clunky

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this the other night after I wrote Sudden Drops. Some of the thoughts of reader are very personal and I contemplated on whether to share this or not. I decided to share because I’m sure some of you need this too. <3
> 
> Warnings: Depression and body image issues. Mention of previous time of not getting enough nutrients but not stated how or why and clothes no longer fitting because they are too small.

During cycles you didn’t have to attend to your duties, you normally stayed in your quarters not doing much. You had your meals brought to you by a droid and you normally just read different things on your datapad or laid around not doing much, talking to your personal BB unit, BB-5, although you called him Cinq. Your husband gave you Cinq as a gift for your one year anniversary of dating, he wanted you to have a companion when he was away on missions. Now that he was Supreme Leader, Cinq kept you company during his occasional long work hours.

Today, with your time off, you decided to try on some of your old clothes from your days as a civilian. Kylo had meetings all day, so you knew you had plenty of time. At first it was fun, you had Cinq flash the lights and play some music as you strut around the room in your different clothes, flowy sundresses you would wear on Naboo and other similar climates, baggy shirts and pants you would lounge around in and wear on a lazy afternoon around town. Then you got to the more formal attire. Most of the fabrics didn’t stretch, so they didn’t fit anymore, and the ones that did stretch accentuated your rounder belly and thighs. You pulled out your favorite dress, the one that has never failed to make you feel sexy and like a goddess, and it wouldn’t zip up. You felt defeated, how could your body do this to you. You took it off and left it on the floor where it fell and walked into the refresher to look in the mirror.

What you saw didn’t reflect how you felt but what the clothes said. You still felt like you were the same size as you were when you wore those clothes, with just a little more belly, but that was fine. Really looking in the mirror, putting on the old clothes, and weighing yourself told you otherwise. You sat down on the floor and began to cry, poking at all the new fat, how could you be this stupid and naive?

Kylo got a notification on his datapad, and took a moment to look at it while one of the officers spoke to the group about plans he already knew about. It was from BB-5 saying (y/n) was in distress and needed him. That was one function he did not disclose to you about BB-5, knowing your mental health history, he had Cinq programmed to discreetly inform him about anytime it got bad so he could come keep you company and comfort you when he was on the ship, or have a droid bring you snacks and soft things you liked when he was away. Wanting to see how urgent the matter was Kylo reached into the force to find your signature, and sensing you were in a lot of distress, he immediately stood up and exited, saying the rest of the meetings for the cycle he needed to attend were to be postponed, there was an urgent matter he needed to attend to. He rushed back to your shared quarters, to find you sitting on the floor in the refresher wearing only a bra and panties, crying while poking and prodding at your belly and thighs.

He knelt down next to you, “My love, what is wrong? Why are you sitting here like this?”

You couldn’t bear to look at your husband as you spoke, “I think I’m this dainty person, but in reality I’m just big and clunky and always have been and now I’m even more so. How could you even love me when I’m this size?”

He grabbed your hands to stop them from poking you anymore, “Darling, please look at me. I don’t think your big and clunky, if anyone is it would be me, I barely fit through some doorways. I love that you move with grace like nothing is weighing you down, it helps you exude this air about you that I cannot get enough of. Can you tell me why you think all this about yourself?”

You looked into your husband’s loving eyes, “Cinq and I were having a fashion show, I was trying on all my old civilian clothes and he was flashing the lights and playing music while I strut around. I went from casual to fancy, and the nicer the clothes, the less that fit. And then to top it off my favorite dress doesn’t fit me anymore. When I came and looked in the mirror in just this I noticed everything my clothes told me. And I couldn’t handle it.”

“Oh darling, please don’t feel bad about not fitting into your old clothes. If you want, I can have duplicates made in your size.”

You sobbed out, “But those were my size, Kylo.”

“Baby, those were from a time when you weren’t getting the proper nutrients your body needs to survive. And now that you are, your body took it all in to protect you if that happens again. I see you as perfect, but if you don’t and want to try to reach your perfect body, I can move my training time so you can join me. Or, again, I can have all your civilian clothes remade for you.”

“I don’t know what I want. But thank you Kylo, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now you said you were having a fashion show? Do you mind if I stay and cheer you on, and offer you more clothes to try?”

You giggled, “Only for you, darling.”

Kylo helped you stand, and held your waist while he planted kisses all over your face, then lead you to his closet. He tossed you a bunch of his own clothes to try on, and you both laughed as you moved around the room in the too big clothes, with a cape dragging behind you, doing impressions of Kylo. Your frustrations from a few minutes ago were forgotten, and Kylo used the force to discreetly move all your old clothes to a bin to take to get remade, and he was going to get you a bunch of fun and fancy outfits for when you wanted to do this again, minus the crying and self hate.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr, awkward-radar-tech!  
> Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment or message me on Tumblr, I like to know what people think of my fics!


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